Today and Everyday

I pray for a kinder and gentler public.  I pray that we will all try and understand one another.

It's really that simple.
Peace.

Je suis mon propre guide.

"I am my own guide."

I often think about the journeys of others, and while that may not always be a healthy activity, I do wonder about many-a-things.

Sometimes I wish I were Philip Glass so that I could compose all that must be said without actually having to say it.  My paintings I am working on are small and ordinary and do not properly convey what is inside of me.  But it's there, and I know it, and it has taken me a long time to realize that it does not matter if others cannot see it.

My relationship with God gives me great comfort.  I find myself alongside atheists and fanatics and opposing religions and righteous Bible thumpers each day and subsequentally feel my own relationship with God even more calming.

In the arena of Mental Health, there is a tendency among some patients to think they ARE God.  And conversely, there are actually some professionals within the field that may even behave similarly.  I still feel stress when I think about the admitting nurse during my 2nd round at the hospital and how JUDGMENTAL she was of me during my 10 day stay.  This was all based on the fact that I said something about 'not sure what to believe at the moment.'  She stood up and metaphorically spit in my face when I answered one of her examining questions.  My heart felt like it was going to stop beating at that moment.  And that is when I learned that Doubt was a metaphysical force.

In any moments of Doubt that I encounter in the future, I shall close my eyes and meditate on some of the purest moments I have ever felt.  I have encountered more than enough moments with God to make me a great believer that there is something beyond us....

Some people find this frightening and scary and too intense to contend with in their daily lives.  Not for me.  It is something that lives inside of me.

And I know that the 'delusion' of the Mexican janitor who came to talk to me in a waiting room of a hospital when I was all alone was merely there to comfort me in a time of need when he pointed to his name tag and it said "Jesus."  I didn't ask him to come talk to me.  He just simply appeared.  When I told him my story and asked him what to do, he answered me by throwing his arms around as if to lift the air up all around him.  He also was feeling a little down on himself for simply being a Mexican janitor and that nothing important or significant ever emerged out of Mexico.  I even counseled him and told him about Frida Kahlo and her important contributions to the art world.

So even if my mexican janitor friend was merely a clinical delusion that must be stopped with MEDICATION MORE MORE MORE MORE MEDICATION, I will NEVER forget him walking down the hall as I went on to write foreign alphabets on the chalkboard with fellow patients, looking back at me with a big smile on his face and waving...

Delusion or not, dear doctor, my imagination did not work entirely on my own to create that experience.

God is with us.  I no longer have any doubts about that.

I also think Jesus may have even had a comical side to him that people never knew about.  He is also a fantastic wedding cake designer.