fitting in

i have racing thoughts in these post-euphoria moments of a twelve (!!) day headache. not to mention VALIUM. the CT came back clear, just more imbalances with my damn thyroid and upped synthroid dosages and blah blah blah.

this is that type of information that strangers cringe when they read on the internet. WHO THE HELL CARES?

that wasn't the first time i got my head checked. it was checked previously by a jumbo jet. WOOOHOOOO. when you feel heavy metal............

i don't like to talk about that much.

mostly because i don't quite understand.

not even any artwork i've ever attempted to produce has been able to explain.

so i've just shoved it all under the rug and bring it out every so often to ponder a bit.

before my computer crashes again, though, i will say this. i am almost 33 years old and i did not think that at this age i still would not quite know where i fit into the universe.

this brings me great sadness.

does anyone else out there feel this way?

i am going to go to youtube and watch weird al yankovic videos now. i'll have you know i performed FAT today at work for a few select coworkers.

"your butt is wiiiide"

I totally want to write to Gregory House, M.D.

This would be a great episode of House. Girl with mysterious week-long headache, virtually normal CT scans, then starts predicting the future. Turns out one of her dental fillings is made of Kryptonite and she is secretly related to Superman. Then it turns out to just be a delusion he is experiencing while on hiatus in the Mental Hospital.

But these really are shots of my brain. They gave me a cd at my appointment today so I've been spending the afternoon researching the internet on how to read CT scans of the brain.

I really don't know what they all mean so I just gotta wait for my young stoner Indian doctor to call me back.



And this photo here is the last time you will ever catch me on a roller coaster again.

Writing to you from high-dosage Aleve and Valium land,
Nikki

fatiguée...

My two weeks of being the elder responsible cousin/auntie/translator was rather grueling. I swear the roller coasters thrashed my brain around in its skullcage a bit too much and I have had a headache for almost a week now.

But Yosemite Sam and Foghorn were there to catch me so I'll be alright.

La petite française est bien partie aujourd'hui. Moi je ne peux pas imaginer être parent d'un teenager de cette époque de tous les devices éléctroniques. Les texts, SMS, les sites web, les portables, les appareils-photos, les Nintendo DS...c'est trop pour un jeune esprit!

More stories to come....

Bonne nuit.