So I try my best not to eat, sleep and breathe all this mental illness stuff. But it's like it haunts a person, particularly when you are not able to discuss it openly in most places. I take my medications, I check in regularly with different professionals and support groups, but I must hide my illness and go about my daily life as normally as possible. It's like living a double life.
I love that more people are becoming more vocal about their struggles. The more people that come forward with their mental health struggles the more compassionate society can be. It takes a lot of courage to speak up about these experiences, but at the same time, what a relief it could all be!
The self-doubt I feel daily that I'm inferior and ill and worthless because of struggles with bipolar eats away at me. My past haunts me. Former colleagues have turned their back on me and my connections that could lead me to a new job or new career are thwarted by a past that has included several medical leaves of absence from several jobs. And GOSSIP! Jesus, the GOSSIP stabs the core of a person's sense of worth! I am no longer taken seriously by them, and my future is dimmed because of their judgments. Do you understand how a mental illness past can lead to deeper depression?
It is my hope, my prayer that more understanding comes with more people opening up about these struggles. Support groups show me that I'm not alone, and I am grateful for them. But I still have a long way to go before I feel confidence to participate the way I'd like to.
I am grateful, however, for the few friends who have stood by me in good times and bad. The friends who do not judge or gossip or whisper about me. The friends who bring me joy. I'm lucky to have at least a few of those.
I was interested to hear I was not the only one who went through the hell of diagnosis.
http://www.nola.com/entertainment/baton-rouge/index.ssf/2014/11/darrell_hammond_opens_up_about.html
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