My Bumbling Job Hunt

So it's been a few days since receiving the news that I am being laid off in six weeks.  My emotions have run rampant across the board....sadness, anxious, anger, frustration, depression, fear and pessimistic.  Basically, everything you learned in college about How To Find A Job is completely obsolete.  One can no longer walk into a place of business and ask to speak to the manager.  There are Affirmative Action regulations involved in the recruiting process and most places can't even speak to you.  Calling the HR to inquire about your resume submission is no longer acceptable as the applicants have probably quadrupled in size since the dawn of internet job applications.  I have been relaxing with a glass of wine each night as I sit down to my computer to type away my job prayers after each eight hour shift and two hour commute at the current job.

I am trying to navigate my way through LinkedIn, only to find that my heartfelt hello message accompanying my connection request to former colleagues is shoved away into an e-file of lost messages as I see the former colleague has over 500 connections and OBVIOUSLY doesn't have time to shoot back a quick hello to me.  Or I guess I should have been participating in this LinkedIn game all these years.  And there is a part of me that cannot help but think some of my former directors, while giving me big bear hugs when they see me in person, have all avoidance when it comes to connecting to me professionally after bearing witness to my various medical leaves mandated by psychiatrists.  I feel like I have a big black X through my name in any organization that shares an affiliation with these former colleagues.  Discrimination?  Yes.  But nothing that I could ever prove in any way.  But I tell you what, it makes me A-N-G-R-Y and makes me think I ought to pack up and move to a land where nobody knows me.

And so I am putting one foot in front of the other as I strive for something that suits me best.  I know a lot about music...a lot about movies....a fine taste for interesting and artful wares...a supporter of arts, culture and education....an awesome force of genuine, sweet, old-fashioned customer service...a smile...prompt....a hard-worker...patient...fair...firm....creative....passionate shopgirl with so much to offer.  Now how do I roll that all up into one fine package for the next hiring manager I encounter?

I am squeezing in all my doctor's appointments in the event that I won't be able to afford health insurance, which, sadly, is highly likely.  I also need to stock up on cheap red wine to get me through these days.  There's a liquor store right by my psychiatrist's office.  Think he'd hear my bottles rattling in my recycled wine tote as I ask him for a year of Seroquel and Ativan?  Do you think he'll be concerned??

I have an interview tomorrow with a boutique.  I have prepared my ensemble and organized my portfolio.  However, my finest Ann Taylor tunic has a loose hem which I have no way to fix except with thin slices of packing tape.  Will this make me or break me?