This week marks the beginning of the six week period I have left on my current job. I am frazzled and cannot concentrate on anything but my job search. I tried to sit down and watch Shoot the Piano Player last night, but I couldn't concentrate. Even on a French film, which usually has me glued to the subtitles as I train my brain to notice new phrases to memorize.
I have applied to anything that sounds remotely interesting. I have no problem continuing my position as a shopgirl, as long as it's something I can get behind and actually enjoy selling and speaking about. Washers and dryers--no. Underwear--no. But something that is creative and inventive and interesting and somehow beautiful. I have also applied to office jobs, even though I know my twenty years of retail background does not appeal to hiring managers in a clerical setting. I have even applied for entry-level positions in the field of mental health. And museums. And cute boutiques. And record stores.
I'm in a strange limbo...squeezing in all my doctors appointments and hoarding my prescriptions while I still have health insurance. I have prepared myself for the unexpected--that of not having health coverage. I will probably have to forfeit my therapy sessions, which have helped me to gain confidence and be assured that I will NOT end up in one of those god awful hospitals again. I jotted down some support group information and I am thinking about trying my first session in another week. How I wish I had a supporter to accompany me. Navigating the realms of mental health can be frightening. You just never know what kind of personality you're going to encounter, or if you are on the verge of experiencing something entirely too negative to be a strive toward recovery.
So many things to juggle.
And if nothing lines up in time for my position to end, what if I don't qualify for unemployment? I am so nervous I have invested in some bottles of wine to keep my anxiety to a minimum.
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