Boundaries and Support

I've slowly been immersing myself in areas of community mental health.  It's been a slow process, as I have to work a full-time retail management job and sometimes plans fall through the cracks in order to take care of that primary business.  But I'm participating slowly where I can....getting my feet wet.

Support groups can be wonderfully amazing tools, but when it comes to mental health, one must be WISE and SAFE.  It would be a shiny, happy people sort of thing if one could just instantly become FRIENDS with others attending these sorts of groups but you need to posess a sort of whip-smart mentality of whom you may include in your sharing of information.  This is a very delicate process for me and I'm developing strong skills, but there is still so, so much work to be done.

For example, I'd love to participate in an upcoming NAMI walk, but I can't really think of any friends locally to ask.  Mental health is still one of those 'Shove It Under a Rug and Don't Talk About It' kind of thing.  I'm working on changing that, but I'm not there yet.  And so I'd be willing to talk with some members from a support group or two, but I'm not comfortable giving anyone my contact info just yet.  I dream of a day where I won't have to walk around on mounds and mounds of eggshells going about my journey to speak UP and speak OUT about mental illness.  But that day is not here just yet.

I still feel divided.  The part of me that is stable and strong and wise and a strong leader.......

And then the other part of me that is still traumatized by incidents during hospitalizations and fearful of controlling professionals reminding me of just how "SICK" I am.

I've been thinking about my acquaintance some more...the one I previously mentioned in a posting...and thinking about how mean and cruel the world can be when it comes to matters of the mind.  I'm not going to elaborate anymore on that at this very moment, but he is in my thoughts and prayers as I navigate these really fucking choppy waters of mental health and wellness.