Extending a hand of friendship

I can empathize with people who are reluctant to embrace a thing or an idea or a thought.  Life is so damn complicated and complex and reactions are peppered with doubt and raw emotion.  But in any negotiation, the goal is to allow the other to be heard and respected so some small common ground can be found.

Unbridled animosity builds over time and reluctance to look at something from a different angle becomes a dominating force.  Conviction is one thing, but acceptance and tolerance is important, too.

These are wordy words but I swear the biggest trouble we encounter in this day and age of turbo speed technology is our lack of real, genuine conversation and connection.  Presumptions are made too often, misunderstandings occur every second, and pausing for a moment in the midst of a heated argument might help toward the healing and offer a solution of true collaboration.

Wordy wordy thoughts that I will probably cringe at if I read this later, but I'm going to go with it for a minute and share.

Rise above the negativity

I live my life striving for everything that is ethical and fair, with care and concern for those around me, and I try to assist or nurture others when they may need it.  

When I am able.

Some days, I am too tired and need to rest to take care of my own mental health.  Today is one of those days that I just needed to sit down.

I work so hard everyday, I work many weekends because that is in the best interest of the business.  I take on added responsibility to help share the load with others on the team.  Sometimes I wonder why because 'teamwork' seems like an absent idea in many situations.

Mental health and wellness has become such a focus in my life because I am trying to fight the good fight.  Just because negativity surrounds so many people in this world does not mean one needs to succumb to it.  I fight that depression every day, and turn to my medical team and support groups for an extra hand when I need it.

I tell myself: Do at least one positive thing each day.  If you are able to do two positive things in one day, even better.  Keep increasing that number and it can only build from there.

Today my positive deed was subtle yet heard.  I moved my two bags from the seat next to me on the bus so someone could sit down.  He sat next to me, and said thank you.  And he really meant thank you.  Something in his voice told me he sincerely appreciated this very small gesture of politeness and for all I know that could have been the smallest, nicest thing someone did for him that day.  When my stop arrived, I told him and he stood up.  He said Bye as I left and I told him Bye.

This may seem like a stupid story, but when you walk in another's shoes and hear a heartfelt 'Thank You' from a stranger, for such a TINY act of courtesy to someone who may have just put up with a lot of difficult things that day, it can sometimes make a difference.

Or maybe it may not make any difference that day, but it doesn't mean you should stop doing it.

This life is hard, and people work hard, and I think we need to support people rather than tear them down for irrational reasons.  The tiniest gestures of courtesy help.

Peace

I pray for many things today.  I am devastated by recent events and angered that the insanity of evil exists.

I pray that warriors of all that is good and just and fair in this beautiful, diverse world are led to peaceful conversations that can eventually replace the heated opposing opinions scattered all over the Internet and all over media.  It's clogging healthy thought processes, or something.  Is it addiction to anger?

I pray for a country that I know and love, I pray for citizens in countries where I have never been who are dealing with extreme difficulties, and I pray for solutions.  I pray that humanity comes together, and divides no further.

What would John Lennon say right now?

Some basic thoughts...

As I watch events unfold each time there is bad stuff happening in the name of shared group beliefs, I feel I need to do much more in this world.

Every human being needs to feel like he or she matters or feels they belong somewhere.  And when they subscribe to a group that does pure evil, how terrible that they were brought to such thinking because they lacked the basic thing in life: to feel valued.  This goes for the gang violence in my own city, the groups throughout the world willing to ignore the beauty of life in attempts to scare and control, and individuals who became too isolated.

I can't believe some of the stuff I read on the Internet, that humans have become so callous to life and to the idea of brotherhood and sisterhood.

My words here are small, but they are written in an earnest attempt to be a Helper.  

The world needs more sanctuary, not more fuel for the madness of anger, hate and violence.

Trying Trying Trying

There seems to be a whole lot of people who cannot fathom (nor even remotely care) how the other half lives. 

I'm sick and tired of the inequality. 

It doesn't make any sense.

It doesn't make any sense that salaries are so divided, and that the people at the top don't even think the people at the bottom matter.  Don't those fools know the people at the bottom make everything at the top peak of their mountain possible?

I am struggling with career because no matter what I do or say, I can't keep a steady staff because the attitude of working retail for peanuts and scraps depresses the hell out of young kids who spent all their money on college.  I can't manage a staff who is perpetually looking for new work.  It's extreme insanity.

The apathy that is out there is frightening.

Meanwhile, I try to coordinate new and fresh endeavors in my life but they keep falling through the cracks because at the end of the day, I run out of energy.

Then there's a whole team of independent be-your-own-boss hard workers sharing their dreams with the whole world on social media, and the gap between working for 'others' and working for 'self' becomes a wide valley with no way to get across the treacherous divide.

How did the modern workplace get so damn stressful?

Now let's flip the coin to the other side.

Apparently, somebody whispered to me once that there was a whole band of people who were rooting for me.  I'd like to know who or what or where those people are, and why don't they connect realistically with me instead of stalking and spying and USING ME for God Knows What agenda.  I mean, how does all that work?  Rooting for a person does absolutely no good.  Action and COMMUNICATION requires logical work.  Partnership.  Collaboration.  An honest reaching out and a lending, caring hand.

I've hit a serious depression, and I absolutely hate my life.  Nothing makes any sense, and I'm about to schedule an appointment with my psychiatrist to ask to be doped up some more.  Because I just want to feel numb again.  I hope if someone calls me for an interview that they'll be able to see the real, hard-working me and not the zombie.

Focus and determination

Those are the words that came up in my art therapy group piece last week.

Focus

And

Determination

I've already discussed with my therapist how writing and mania are intertwined for me, so I have to be careful.  I have so many ideas, observations, beliefs, theories, philosophies and ideals that I want to express, and at times they come roaring out of me like the TGV trains of France.

I've worked so hard my whole life, suffered through more than a few nervous breakdowns and hardships, and picked myself back up each time and returned Full Speed Ahead (or as much as possible while taking psychiatric medications.)

I'm in a leadership position at work at the moment, where I am required to continuously motivate and inspire staff.  Performing this role in a retail environment has forced me to block out all the critical voices that have inadvertently placed judgment on me for not being able to achieve a mightier role in life.

I was always taught to take pride in whatever job you find yourself doing, no matter what it is.  Maintaining this healthy trait lessens depression and anxiety, and gives me courage to teach this belief to younger staff who are frustrated at life post college.

Gettin by...

I submitted my first writing piece to a professional to look over and give me feedback.  I know it's not a perfect piece and there are errors and improvements to work on, but I hope it's got some good qualities that have potential.

And that's kind of how I feel about life in general.

Work stress is going to kill me slowly.  It's most challenging being the buffer between business owners and jaded staff because they can be so goddamn rude.  How hard is it for a business owner to say 'Hi, how's the day?' to an employee.

Rudeness is just the worst.  Life is hard, and people are struggling and very few have it made and life's easy.  Kindness goes a long way in this long life.