Trying Trying Trying

There seems to be a whole lot of people who cannot fathom (nor even remotely care) how the other half lives. 

I'm sick and tired of the inequality. 

It doesn't make any sense.

It doesn't make any sense that salaries are so divided, and that the people at the top don't even think the people at the bottom matter.  Don't those fools know the people at the bottom make everything at the top peak of their mountain possible?

I am struggling with career because no matter what I do or say, I can't keep a steady staff because the attitude of working retail for peanuts and scraps depresses the hell out of young kids who spent all their money on college.  I can't manage a staff who is perpetually looking for new work.  It's extreme insanity.

The apathy that is out there is frightening.

Meanwhile, I try to coordinate new and fresh endeavors in my life but they keep falling through the cracks because at the end of the day, I run out of energy.

Then there's a whole team of independent be-your-own-boss hard workers sharing their dreams with the whole world on social media, and the gap between working for 'others' and working for 'self' becomes a wide valley with no way to get across the treacherous divide.

How did the modern workplace get so damn stressful?

Now let's flip the coin to the other side.

Apparently, somebody whispered to me once that there was a whole band of people who were rooting for me.  I'd like to know who or what or where those people are, and why don't they connect realistically with me instead of stalking and spying and USING ME for God Knows What agenda.  I mean, how does all that work?  Rooting for a person does absolutely no good.  Action and COMMUNICATION requires logical work.  Partnership.  Collaboration.  An honest reaching out and a lending, caring hand.

I've hit a serious depression, and I absolutely hate my life.  Nothing makes any sense, and I'm about to schedule an appointment with my psychiatrist to ask to be doped up some more.  Because I just want to feel numb again.  I hope if someone calls me for an interview that they'll be able to see the real, hard-working me and not the zombie.