Working with one's hands as he or she hammers away at this thing called life is kind of like a meditation. There is an energy with every movement, task or endeavor.
I struggle with the depression that comes along with not being able to create some sort of finalized masterpiece to share with the world. I beat myself up over it and make myself sick sometimes. There is a pressure, I feel, to be something magnificent. There is a pressure to reach a certain level of perfection. There is a pressure to submit a concrete chef d'ouevre to feel as an important participant in this world. Sometimes the pressure intensifies, and I fall into deep depression and feel like a failure.
But I am learning different ways. A samurai walked into my store the other day and grunted at me. It was weird and comical, but I was reminded that I, too, can be a warrior of sorts.
Every little thing I do in this world matters.
I am a participant in the world each and every day.
I contribute in my own special way with each small gesture.
Every word I type, say, paint, sing, share with others is an action, no matter how small. I can harness my HERE AND NOW, and make it count.
I may be small, metaphorically speaking, but little things I do can be viewed as a brushstroke on this big ginormous canvas that is my life.
Sometimes I think there are people out there in the big bad universe who expect so much more from me. But I don't care.
While I may not be 'creating' on a bigger, more important scale, I am harnessing what I know is the life in front of me and making it count.
A hell of a lot of words for that which I cannot quite explain.
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