Expectations

I had another sleepless night.  I will pop an Ativan or two again today to get through today's storm.  Why?  Because I have enormous anxiety over the little, uh, intracacies of my day.  Part of my 'paranoia' involves people hounding me expecting GENIUS and PERFECTION from me.

I remember sitting in a professor's office years ago and he told me, "I think you're a wonderfully interesting person, but I am not seeing your true potential or what you're capable of doing."  I wanted to scream at him:  Let Me Learn Dammit!  I called him a few years later to ask his advice about returning to the university.  He told me: You Know, academia isn't always what it's cracked up to be....

I have work to do.  I know that.  But JESUS.  Let me breathe.