June is bustin out all over.

Its a beautiful sunny Sunday morning here and summer is almost here.  Now that May Mental Health Awareness Month is over, it's time to move forward.  Of course I may bring a certain aspect up in the future, but it's important not to dwell.

As I've said numerous times before, many times when I begin a serious writing project, it ends in melancholia.  I know positive thinking goes a long way, but somehow past pains creep in and seem to grab hold.  I hate that.  I've been reaching out to the support group realm and the longstanding depression seems to take hold of so many others.  I really feel for the people whose depression has crippled them with suicidal thoughts.  It's no laughing matter.  I have not been that low for awhile, but I have reached that crucial point of despair in the past.  Perhaps by continuing my participation in these support groups I can lend my compassion and patience.  Sometimes all a person needs is a stranger to say, hey, I've been there, I get it.  Obviously it's more complicated than that but baby steps are key when someone has reached that depth...

I don't know what my calling in life is.  I feel like I got caught up in a lot of bs early on and I had to backtrack to be able to survive from day to day.  I'm surviving, but I'm not fulfilled.  I thought parenthood might bring me the fulfillment that I craved, but that's not going to happen.  I felt like marriage would suit me well, but the mister is suffering depression, too.  My job?  Eh, sometimes.  I have to deal with a lot of bratty, self-centered behavior but I try and make the best of it.

Hopefully by reaching out to others I can gain a better perspective on what I'm meant to be doing to feel that fleeing thought of fulfillment.

Here's to new beginnings...