Participating

I seem to go back and forth with my feelings toward bipolar support groups.  They are helpful during acute mania states and in the depths of depression, most definitely.  They are helpful in providing a place to talk about really strong medications and their side effects with people WHO ACTUALLY TAKE THEM AND KNOW FIRSTHAND.  It's great to have people around who understand hospitals and stigma and how difficult it is maintaining relationships.  Talking with fellow patients makes me feel like I'm not so alone.

However, I usually tend to walk away from these group supports after time because I want to get back out there in the world again and be like everyone else who doesn't wake up everyday worrying their mind might do something abnormal that day.  Still, I'm trying out support groups once again and hoping for some balance between my ill self and healthy self.  It ain't easy, that's for sure.

The hospitalizations weigh heavy on my mind when I'm participating in conversations with others who know what it's like.  I totally understand the importance of keeping patients in acute states sedated.   But let's treat them right.  Minds are capable of more than people can widely speak of.  And you never know what people are going to do with that, uh, odd thing called a brain.  I'm not going to get all sci-fi here, but man!  Some of the things I've witnessed!  Whew!

I don't have the answers.  I'm going to try my best to talk and walk and write my way through the corridors of mental health.  Sometimes I think patients' tend to get stuck on that word mental ILLNESS, when in fact, so many are also mentally GIFTED as well.  If we could somehow reach for that light, that gift within those suffering from depression maybe we could help out a few more people.  Not everyone, but a few more.  We've got to dig for that hope.