- Dwelling on it is depressing. Having reached out to support groups this month, I have learned I'm not alone on this. Whenever an emotion or frustration comes up, some professionals or even friends or family automatically leap to the fact that You Have Bipolar Disorder. Not every mood change is part of an illness, and sometimes it's up to us to figuratively smack those people and tell them we are HUMAN. We are, uh, going to have emotions.
- There are always going to be people who presume the worst of mental illness and see those who have it in a bad light. So, the ignorance is always going to be there.
- The push for medication is strong. I'm still not 100% sure the medication is appropriate for every single person. All I know is I can't get off Seroquel. A friend told me her old roommate went into rehab to get off of it. I'm starting Latuda next. Swallow pill number 2973 and hope for the best. And I guess I'm going to just keep taking Ativan. I'm reliant on it. Oh well.
- Akathysia is a very serious side effect. And it should be taken seriously. I just saw on the news the other night that a local man jumped in front of a train because he started taking Paxil and it gave him such severe inner restlessness that in a split second he ended his life over it. I remember being in a grocery store trying to pick up some things with the Mr. and my akathysia became so severe that I had to go out in the parking lot and pace like a mad woman. I got into the car and rocked back and forth in my seat and had a severe panic attack. That was from Geodon, and when I described several of these incidents to my psychiatrist she insisted I continued the drug because it's best for my cognitive function.
- Dancing is an amazing therapy. It's a little difficult when sedated, but the right music is therapy for our emotional souls while the movements create physical balance to a racing mind.
- For me, personally, writing is NOT the best thing for me to concentrate on during moments of mania. My mind starts up like a freight train and it won't stop moving, thinking or pulsating. I make myself sick as I put pressure on myself to be disciplined enough to write a book, or something. Short, concise writing works best for me. Sorry if that disappoints everyone who says I'm not disciplined enough, but every time I start any lengthy writing project, it ends in deep, dark depression. I don't get it. So instead I paint.
These are just a few things for now. More to come, I'm sure.
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